I have a history of writing odd introductions for my online writing classes (both as a teacher and as a student). My last class failed miserably, no one would "talk" to anyone else, they posted rarely and emailed me privately to ask questions. I've studied the situation and have decided that I scared them to death with my introduction. I can't remember if it was a list of my worst dates, or a random list of songs off my iPod--either of which is likely sufficient to terrify the bravest of online students.
So this time, I wrote an average, placid introduction: number of children, writing experience, blah blah blah. It WORKED. The students are all chit-chatting, learning and posting happily. (See, it WAS my freaky introduction last time! And you thought I was crazy.)
But, problem is, I am feeling a bit deprived. What? No funky introduction to amuse myself with? So here is a list of 10 jobs I've had. There have been around 20...give or take a few for ones I've blocked out.
1. Daycare worker: My first job at age 16. The owner was a cantankerous old lady and the one thing I learned was that I never wanted to send my children to daycare. I pushed kids on swings, made sure toilet paper didn't get wrapped around all the bathroom fixtures, did story time, liked all the naughty children no one else seemed to, and occasionally fell asleep. Funny, I could never fall asleep during naptime when I was an actual kid at daycare.
2. Triple Stop: This is a gas station by the home I mostly grew up in. I deep fried burritos, pumped propane, poorly counted back change, judged people's car interiors at the drive-in window and ignored all the food handling rules I'd recently learned just like everyone else did. I accidentally broke a lot of beer bottles stocking the refrigerator shelves. Why can't they put beer in plastic??
3. Ernst Home Center: I don't know what my title was but I was helping to remodel the place at night. This meant I went to work at 10:00 pm and got home at 6:30 am. Did you know most people on this schedule only sleep 6 hours a day? Also, there are a lot of people who want to race a '69 Camaro at 6:15 am. Vroom Vroom.
4. IOMEGA factory assembly line: I built disc drives during summers off from college. Lest you be impressed, it only involved a lot of sticking, screwing and occasional welding. When the engineers came around I would bother them with what I'd been thinking about all day: Why does the earth spin? What creates its magnetism? What happens if I weld something I'm not supposed to?
5. Elementary Student Observation: This was a college grad school thing. We went to a school or two and were supposed to write down what the children and teacher did all day. I wasn't too good at it as I tended to join in a little too much--especially during recess.
6. Workshop Developer/Presenter: What a blast. I taught the BYU football team study skills while Lavell gave them evil looks so they would behave.
7. Christmas Tree Lot Manager: This had to be during the worst Christmas Tree selling year ever. I sat in my car, read Jayne Eyre, tried to stay warm and prayed no one would want me to cut off the bottom of their Christmas tree because that was actually working.
8. Instructional Software Writer: I wrote scripts explaining how to use computer programs. I eventually quit in the midst of much office intrigue before the owner got arrested. Which he did a few months later. At least he liked me enough that when the rest of the company wasn't getting paid, I could go to his private bank account and get my money. Yikes.
9. Online Writing Instructor: My online instructor asked me to teach his classes when I got a book contract. I was quite flattered considering he nearly kicked me out of class for incompitence--or was it sassiness? Hey. I learned!!
10. Writer: I have a picture book coming out SOMEDAY. I wrote a treatment for a TV show for a local company FOR PAY even. I have a couple of awards. An article published. I'm not sure if it's a job, but it's what I do and sometimes I get money for it.
Ahhhhh. I feel much better now I'm all introduced.
So this time, I wrote an average, placid introduction: number of children, writing experience, blah blah blah. It WORKED. The students are all chit-chatting, learning and posting happily. (See, it WAS my freaky introduction last time! And you thought I was crazy.)
But, problem is, I am feeling a bit deprived. What? No funky introduction to amuse myself with? So here is a list of 10 jobs I've had. There have been around 20...give or take a few for ones I've blocked out.
1. Daycare worker: My first job at age 16. The owner was a cantankerous old lady and the one thing I learned was that I never wanted to send my children to daycare. I pushed kids on swings, made sure toilet paper didn't get wrapped around all the bathroom fixtures, did story time, liked all the naughty children no one else seemed to, and occasionally fell asleep. Funny, I could never fall asleep during naptime when I was an actual kid at daycare.
2. Triple Stop: This is a gas station by the home I mostly grew up in. I deep fried burritos, pumped propane, poorly counted back change, judged people's car interiors at the drive-in window and ignored all the food handling rules I'd recently learned just like everyone else did. I accidentally broke a lot of beer bottles stocking the refrigerator shelves. Why can't they put beer in plastic??
3. Ernst Home Center: I don't know what my title was but I was helping to remodel the place at night. This meant I went to work at 10:00 pm and got home at 6:30 am. Did you know most people on this schedule only sleep 6 hours a day? Also, there are a lot of people who want to race a '69 Camaro at 6:15 am. Vroom Vroom.
4. IOMEGA factory assembly line: I built disc drives during summers off from college. Lest you be impressed, it only involved a lot of sticking, screwing and occasional welding. When the engineers came around I would bother them with what I'd been thinking about all day: Why does the earth spin? What creates its magnetism? What happens if I weld something I'm not supposed to?
5. Elementary Student Observation: This was a college grad school thing. We went to a school or two and were supposed to write down what the children and teacher did all day. I wasn't too good at it as I tended to join in a little too much--especially during recess.
6. Workshop Developer/Presenter: What a blast. I taught the BYU football team study skills while Lavell gave them evil looks so they would behave.
7. Christmas Tree Lot Manager: This had to be during the worst Christmas Tree selling year ever. I sat in my car, read Jayne Eyre, tried to stay warm and prayed no one would want me to cut off the bottom of their Christmas tree because that was actually working.
8. Instructional Software Writer: I wrote scripts explaining how to use computer programs. I eventually quit in the midst of much office intrigue before the owner got arrested. Which he did a few months later. At least he liked me enough that when the rest of the company wasn't getting paid, I could go to his private bank account and get my money. Yikes.
9. Online Writing Instructor: My online instructor asked me to teach his classes when I got a book contract. I was quite flattered considering he nearly kicked me out of class for incompitence--or was it sassiness? Hey. I learned!!
10. Writer: I have a picture book coming out SOMEDAY. I wrote a treatment for a TV show for a local company FOR PAY even. I have a couple of awards. An article published. I'm not sure if it's a job, but it's what I do and sometimes I get money for it.
Ahhhhh. I feel much better now I'm all introduced.
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