Ginger Unplugged

So. I haven't posted very often since Sleestack developed a personality. Or should I say, even more personality? She is currently three years old, is growing out the haircut she gave herself, and is sporting a black eye I assume she also gave herself. Here are Sleestack favorites from just this week: 1. Sitting in church. The little boy in front of us keeps dropping his bouncy ball and Sleestack retrieves it for him several times. It happens again until she decides the best way to remedy the situation is to hurl it as far as possible into the congregation. I don't know whose head it hit, since I covered up my face in what I hoped looked like pious shame but was truly hysterical laughter. 2. Playing "Ponies" with me, Slee decides her pony is the teacher and mine is the student. She decides to teach me that flower stems are green because they get the energy from the sun for food that way. Okay!? Who's been teaching my daughter photosynthesis on the sly? I ta...

because I just can't take it! All those medals won in swim meets across the nation should be given straight to the parents of those swimmers. Those kids just had to swim. Do you know what their families had to do? First of all there are those practices every single weekday (and weekends for older swimmers). And it's not like you can stay with them while your little ones play at the park like with soccer or baseball. It's just a heck of a lot of driving. Now I've just attended my first swim meet--what a madhouse. These are my top seven most hideous moments. 1. Being told to go through the women's dressing room to get to the pool. "All of us?" I asked with my 5 children, including 10-year-old Crash in tow. "It's the only way," I was told. That's a direct quote. Well somewhere along the line Crash got kicked out or something because when we emerged through the maze of benches, lockers and teeny-tiny tiles--no Crash. I put three childre...

Crash got the coveted "WOW" award at school yesterday. Each class in the school picks one kid for the month to receive it and they get a certificate, a special pencil, and their picture taped up until the next WOW awards come out. It doesn't sound like much but they get them in a school assembly which apparently gives a big bang for its buck. Just to give you an idea, my girls have come home with WOW awards that say "For always being on task and a good example to everyone," and "Broke the school record for passing off the 12th grade reading level." Crash's says, "Has made a complete turn around in his behavior, social, and organizational skills. He is a brilliant thinker, amazing scientist, entertaining writer, and fun person to be around." What do I say in all my 9th month of pregnancy crankiness--I MEAN--sassiness? "So basically it says you really used to have crappy skills but now you're doing better?" Luckily, the kids ...

Today, after I volunteered in one my kids' classes, I decided to say a quick hello to my other two children at the school. This was in part because I love them and in part because they are having fantasies that they are terribly abused and are telling the home teachers about this in my presence in order to embarrass me (I think). I am trying to make them feel guilty about this stunt by all my niceness. Because really, if you're not a child abuser and you say you're not--who's going to believe you? I could KILL them!! (Hah, just kidding!!!!) Anyway, by the time I got to the last kid it was getting late--I almost didn't go but finally raced over and peeked in the window of his classroom. They were in the middle of math. At least twenty pairs of eyes were glued to the teacher, but Crash's eyes were glued everywhere else. He was front and center, squirming on his desk, around his desk, nearly under his desk and perhaps had just crawled out of his desk. I wondered i...

Yeah, so just this morning I was blissfully admiring my amazingly bright children while organizing their cupboards, wiping off their counters, cooking their dinner, falling in the Wal-mart parking lot buying presents for their friends (Wal-mart and I have a hate-hate relationship--unfortunately we're stuck together). But it was all worth it! Because they (my children) were Turning Out . They were blooming. They were nearly BRAG WORTHY. And I really hate bragging. I even wrote that last braggy blog in all my "their blooming" bliss. And I didn't even mention how Butterfly has won the best behavior award in her class for two months running. How she got the coveted WOW award at school and is still floating around on cloud 9 about it. How she's better at being social than Oprah Winfrey (once she got over that meowing thing). Nor did I mention an email I got from Crash's teacher yesterday (you know, the "Can we please stick a shocking dog collar on him s...

I have always felt my lips were fat enough, so I didn't really NEED the "lip plumping" lipstick at Aveda but I liked the color, which they were out of in the non-plumping variety. I never noticed any plumping action until I took the lipstick on a trip to Seattle and used it non-stop. I'd completely forgotten about the plumping thing until I randomly noticed that my lips DID look fatter in the hotel mirror. Weird. And then I kept biting them accidentally. And biting my cheeks. And then biting my lips and cheeks some more, over and over and over. I don't know if this happens to everyone or just people untalented with fatter lips than the good Lord gave them. But if it does, let me tell you, fat lips are NOT worth it.

Tyler, I’m really sorry that I yelled on the bus. The first time I was just telling my story festival story to my friend because he wanted to hear it again. And I had to yell for that. The second time I’m not really sure what I was doing. I’m really sorry that I did it and I’ll try really hard not to scream on the bus or be crazy or anything from now on. By the way, you are tied at first place with being the best bus driver ever. Crash There are copies of my children's bus infractions at the school, on the bus, in my house AND at the department of transportation. Thus their criminal records begin.

Fall is here. The leaves are changing colors, the pumpkins are ready for picking and neighbors are hanging witches on their porches-- decorative witches of course, or I might be in big trouble. In honor of fall, here's a new list: Ginger's Most Memorable Falls 1. Most recent fall : I was carrying the baby's carseat, diaper bag, scriptures, etc. into church when my shoe came off at the same time I was stepping over a curb. I sacrificed everything for the baby, of course, and books and diapers went flying and I skinned my knee. I just lay there awhile waving at people going into church. "No, no, I'm fine. Really." 2. Waterfalls: I once hiked to a waterfall with my mom and sister. On the way down every baby rattlesnake in existence had come out to sun itself wherever we wanted to step (Indiana Jones pfffff, whatever). My teenage sister refused to go forward or backward or anywhere and my mom had to carry her! Actually, I think we took turns carrying but not long...

An old friend looked me up the other day and said ANOTHER old friend wanted to see a photo. Well how embarrassing is that after my last post? So, here I am. I'm sure Julia Roberts' kids are saying, "Look Mom, another picture of you on the Internet." And she's saying, "No, that's not me, that's Ginger Churchill. She wrote that book about scabs you like so much." VenZ and Rana--this is for you. It was taken on Easter weekend this year a few months after my baby was born so cut me some slack ;)