Why Forks Are Better Than Men--By Request

I am not a man hater, I swear. I am happily married and have boys of my own and love them dearly.

Please don't hold me responsible for lists my fictional characters create (or that I may, or may not, have created in the past with 5 other college roommates).

Why Forks Are Better Than Men

1. They only touch your lips when you want them to.
2. They don't care what you look like.
3. You don't care if your roommate uses the same one the next day.
4. They don't whine or try to manipulate you.
5. They don't get mad if you use more than one.
6. They are good listeners.
7. They are always dressed appropriately for the occasion.
8. They do whatever you want and don't expect a kiss in return.
9. What you see is what you get.
10. They don't lie (except for in the drawer).
11. They are so easy to pick up.
12. You can grind them in the garbage disposal and they don't scream.
13. When you see one, you know exactly what to do with it.