Today, after I volunteered in one my kids' classes, I decided to say a quick hello to my other two children at the school. This was in part because I love them and in part because they are having fantasies that they are terribly abused and are telling the home teachers about this in my presence in order to embarrass me (I think). I am trying to make them feel guilty about this stunt by all my niceness.
Because really, if you're not a child abuser and you say you're not--who's going to believe you? I could KILL them!! (Hah, just kidding!!!!)
Anyway, by the time I got to the last kid it was getting late--I almost didn't go but finally raced over and peeked in the window of his classroom. They were in the middle of math. At least twenty pairs of eyes were glued to the teacher, but Crash's eyes were glued everywhere else.
He was front and center, squirming on his desk, around his desk, nearly under his desk and perhaps had just crawled out of his desk. I wondered if I should go in there to chew him out but (1) that would not get me nice/guilt points and (2) I decided it was his teacher's deal and it would be interesting to see what she did.
After about 2-3 minutes of this behavior the teacher was looking around for answers to a question. No one was coming up with what she wanted despite the fact they were all staring at everything she'd written on the overhead.
Crash sat up after half a minute of this, looked at the overhead for a second and raised his hand. She called on him, he gave an answer and she asked how he got it.
He launched into a lengthy explanation which I thought for sure sounded something like, "Well, I counted the screws underneath the table, divided by the number of pencils in my desk and added all the foot stomping I could do before I got the tingly feeling that said I had the right answer."
But apparently, that's not what he said. Because after he explained, SHE said, "That's right. Did you all understand what he did?" And started writing stuff on her overhead to illustrate. At this point, I snuck away. Laughing. All the way down the hall.
I decided she did the right thing. (1) He wasn't bugging anyone else. They all were oblivious--which, of course means it's his normal behavior. Fabulous. (2) She somehow knew he was listening and possibly computing this all out in his head despite his acrobatics. And (3) she still respected him and his intelligence enough to call on him when he decided to participate more appropriately.
We've come a long way from the shocking dog collar. NOT MY shocking dog collar. It was HER idea and SHE wanted to use it on him (okay, it's a vibrator thing that randomly goes off so he can record if he's behaving at the time or not). Still, I wouldn't let her do it unless she tried less "look at me I'm a freak" ways first...where are THOSE stories when the home teachers come around?
If my kids ever tell you I stuck a shocking dog collar on Crash in 4th grade, you'll know they're still victimizing me.
Because really, if you're not a child abuser and you say you're not--who's going to believe you? I could KILL them!! (Hah, just kidding!!!!)
Anyway, by the time I got to the last kid it was getting late--I almost didn't go but finally raced over and peeked in the window of his classroom. They were in the middle of math. At least twenty pairs of eyes were glued to the teacher, but Crash's eyes were glued everywhere else.
He was front and center, squirming on his desk, around his desk, nearly under his desk and perhaps had just crawled out of his desk. I wondered if I should go in there to chew him out but (1) that would not get me nice/guilt points and (2) I decided it was his teacher's deal and it would be interesting to see what she did.
After about 2-3 minutes of this behavior the teacher was looking around for answers to a question. No one was coming up with what she wanted despite the fact they were all staring at everything she'd written on the overhead.
Crash sat up after half a minute of this, looked at the overhead for a second and raised his hand. She called on him, he gave an answer and she asked how he got it.
He launched into a lengthy explanation which I thought for sure sounded something like, "Well, I counted the screws underneath the table, divided by the number of pencils in my desk and added all the foot stomping I could do before I got the tingly feeling that said I had the right answer."
But apparently, that's not what he said. Because after he explained, SHE said, "That's right. Did you all understand what he did?" And started writing stuff on her overhead to illustrate. At this point, I snuck away. Laughing. All the way down the hall.
I decided she did the right thing. (1) He wasn't bugging anyone else. They all were oblivious--which, of course means it's his normal behavior. Fabulous. (2) She somehow knew he was listening and possibly computing this all out in his head despite his acrobatics. And (3) she still respected him and his intelligence enough to call on him when he decided to participate more appropriately.
We've come a long way from the shocking dog collar. NOT MY shocking dog collar. It was HER idea and SHE wanted to use it on him (okay, it's a vibrator thing that randomly goes off so he can record if he's behaving at the time or not). Still, I wouldn't let her do it unless she tried less "look at me I'm a freak" ways first...where are THOSE stories when the home teachers come around?
If my kids ever tell you I stuck a shocking dog collar on Crash in 4th grade, you'll know they're still victimizing me.
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