A few weeks ago several women in my church group got together and decided it would be fun to do a mini Parade of Homes through our neighborhood--you know, where people tramp through houses to get ideas for their own ( I think that's what they do anyway, I have never actually attended a Parade of Homes). Did these Christian women decide to parade through their own homes like the selfless and giving daughters of God that they are? NO. They want to parade through mine.
MINE.
Yes, yes, I KNOW I could have said, "no." I really do know this. Thank you for the emails with the practice exercises attached, by the way. Unfortunately, they came too late because here I am cleaning and cleaning and I just can't stop.
I have a problem. I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). If you are an alcoholic, you do not go to bars, wild parties or the refrigerated section of gas stations. If you are OCD, you do not clean. Unless you REALLY want to clean. But with a possible one hundred women inspecting my baseboards, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?
I have swiffered my floor twice and am firmly resisting the urge to do it a third time. I have washed the sinks twice, once for the sink part, once for the chrome part. I had to make my own glass cleaner because I couldn't stand to take the time to run next door and see if they had any. I sprayed this cinnamon stuff around and it's making my eyes water because I'm allergic. I have arranged pillows to perfection. But it seems everywhere I look there are smudges--some washable and some not. Some are even on the pillows. If I stare straight ahead at the laptop I can almost convince myself the washable smudges are mostly gone but I can't help thinking the unwashable ones are going to give in one of these times and come off. They might, they really might.
The thing is, my kids aren't home. They are (1) sleeping, (2) playing at a friend's house and (3) still at school. The women don't come over until seven tonight. SEVEN. I honestly do not know how I can handle having my children in the house before these women arrive. I have already scheduled timeouts in their rooms from 4:00 to 4:30. Seriously, I really have. But I cleaned their rooms. I don't even want them in there. Is it okay to put your kids in your car if they're in the garage? But oh my gosh, the trouble my kids could get into in the car. Sigh.
And then there's the lizard. He is still in his cage, I think, but twenty (count them) crickets are not. My son left the lid off of the Cricket Keeper. I am instructed when I come across one to pick it up by the antennae (this was after the mad dash across the house with my hands clasped together while trying to hold my squirmy baby at the same time). So far, I have caught two. Yes, the antennae method was much more pleasant for all concerned. So now there are only eighteen crickets waiting to jump out at random church women as they inspect my bookshelves, ceiling fans and irremoveable smudges.
Oh my GOSH. I forgot to swiffer the bathroom floors upstairs. I'm off. Wish me luck--or wait, according to my Disney films, crickets bring luck. Whew! I'm set. Maybe those eighteen crickets have already swiffered the bathrooms. I'll have to feed the lizard to THEM if they have.
I'd better check!
MINE.
Yes, yes, I KNOW I could have said, "no." I really do know this. Thank you for the emails with the practice exercises attached, by the way. Unfortunately, they came too late because here I am cleaning and cleaning and I just can't stop.
I have a problem. I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). If you are an alcoholic, you do not go to bars, wild parties or the refrigerated section of gas stations. If you are OCD, you do not clean. Unless you REALLY want to clean. But with a possible one hundred women inspecting my baseboards, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?
I have swiffered my floor twice and am firmly resisting the urge to do it a third time. I have washed the sinks twice, once for the sink part, once for the chrome part. I had to make my own glass cleaner because I couldn't stand to take the time to run next door and see if they had any. I sprayed this cinnamon stuff around and it's making my eyes water because I'm allergic. I have arranged pillows to perfection. But it seems everywhere I look there are smudges--some washable and some not. Some are even on the pillows. If I stare straight ahead at the laptop I can almost convince myself the washable smudges are mostly gone but I can't help thinking the unwashable ones are going to give in one of these times and come off. They might, they really might.
The thing is, my kids aren't home. They are (1) sleeping, (2) playing at a friend's house and (3) still at school. The women don't come over until seven tonight. SEVEN. I honestly do not know how I can handle having my children in the house before these women arrive. I have already scheduled timeouts in their rooms from 4:00 to 4:30. Seriously, I really have. But I cleaned their rooms. I don't even want them in there. Is it okay to put your kids in your car if they're in the garage? But oh my gosh, the trouble my kids could get into in the car. Sigh.
And then there's the lizard. He is still in his cage, I think, but twenty (count them) crickets are not. My son left the lid off of the Cricket Keeper. I am instructed when I come across one to pick it up by the antennae (this was after the mad dash across the house with my hands clasped together while trying to hold my squirmy baby at the same time). So far, I have caught two. Yes, the antennae method was much more pleasant for all concerned. So now there are only eighteen crickets waiting to jump out at random church women as they inspect my bookshelves, ceiling fans and irremoveable smudges.
Oh my GOSH. I forgot to swiffer the bathroom floors upstairs. I'm off. Wish me luck--or wait, according to my Disney films, crickets bring luck. Whew! I'm set. Maybe those eighteen crickets have already swiffered the bathrooms. I'll have to feed the lizard to THEM if they have.
I'd better check!
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